Hipsters

I have a special kind of hatred set aside for Hipsters. I'm not sure what it is their poofy woolen vests they wear in the middle of summer or if its the drain-pipe khakis they always seem to have rolled up at the bottoms. Are you afraid your slip-on faux leather hush-puppies might scuff the back of your 'retro non designer' jeans luv?

Your cool bro.

And what's with the glasses? Are you really blind or have you just popped the lenses out of your great grandpas old reading glasses to look cool? And the hair, wash it every now and then, cut it, jump on it and then it would be nice. And you have ruined the old fashioned manly (or womanly) mustache for the rest of us. I like mustaches but feel like slapping you when you wear one with a knitted retro vest. 

And bitch don't start on how 'retro' your clothes are. I don't give two shits about if the leather elbow patches on your suede jacket came from John Lennon's wardrobe before he was in The Beatles. Speaking of which I'm sure if he were alive John Lennon would slap the stupid out of you!

Hipsters? GTFO!

 I particularly hate when you are attempting to talk to a hipster about music, if you so much as mention a band/artist that has ever been in the stock of a regular music outlet they will harp on about how 'non-mainstream' they are whilst adjusting their lenseless glasses. They will tell you about some amazing retro 'rock/ska/highland/pan-flute/himilayan' monk group they found on vinyl in a 99c bin at the Salvos.

 And i really hate how if you mention to people that you collect vinyl they will immediately associate you with a hipster. Bitch please, i have been collecting vinyl for FUCKING YEARS! I don't collect it for it's 'Hipster Value' (a special form of currency i may be arsed to explain later) I collect it because it sounds shit tonnes better than mp3.

Go on. I dare you to tell him to convert to mp3

 And then theres the Vegan Hipsters. Oh how i loathe them. Especially when your waiting in line to get your coffee and theres some cunthole Hipster in front of you attempting to explain to the asian barista that they want a 'double soy latte no sugar made out of environmentally friendly sourced arabica beans, that is exactly 74'C in a greenearth disposable bio-degradable papercup'.... Bitch just get a flat white like I'm getting and shut the fuck up.

Anywho I'm raging too hard at Hipsters to write much more about them... I'll update some more hatred later.