Motorists

Alrighty so this is sort of a spur of the moment dribble of hatred.

I.

HATE.

MOTORISTS.

Now not all motorists are bad but the ones here in Melbourne are a special breed of  pants-on-head-stupid. At so much as a hint of wet weather or roadworks all of the road rules go out of the window and it is kind of like a free for all.

Red light what!?

My most recent hate experience happened this morning. I was minding my business crossing at the pedestrian crossing on my way to work when some dickbag in a brand new white BMW speeds through honking his horn at me and flipping me off, missing hitting me by all of 2 inches. Erm... excuse me fuckwit IT'S A PEDESTRAIN CROSSING YOU HAVE TO GIVE WAY TO ME! And then I'm left standing on the street looking like a crazy screaming at him as he's driving away.

Imagine, this is kind of how I looked

Although it probably isn't entirely their fault, when it gets hot here in Melbourne everything breaks down. I've encountered on more than one occasion when the traffic lights have a bit of a spaz day and just decide to turn themselves amber for a few hours and flash incandescently at everyone. Now you would think that people would calmly pull together as a team, sort this shit out and drive carefully and respectfully, especially when it happens in the CBD. But no. People suddenly act like the four horsemen just descended and it is their vital duty to fuck up everyone else like a noob tube in Halo.

Skills bro. You lack them.

Motorists are the biggest reason I don't drive. I am perfectly comfortable with MY abilities, it's just every other douchebag in his souped up WRX and his license he won in a cornflakes packet i don't like. This kind of leads to my public transport hate speech but I'll save that for a separate post.